During a particular networking event, as I moved around the room, I caught myself ranking people on their perceived usefulness to my personal ambitions. I smiled outwardly as I went through the motions, but I froze mentally as I recognised the implications of my internal processing.
As I reflected on my mental musings, I realised that I was making assumptions and arriving at conclusions based on my perceptions of an individual in their present state. Those conclusions could not take into account any future changes. By focusing on how the individual could help me advance my goals, I inadvertently minimised the intrinsic value of the individual and made the relationship transactional.
As embarrassing as it was to discover myself think in this way, I recognised that although one of the values I espouse includes valuing people. In that instance, I fell far short of that value system. This moment revealed that the foundational element of character is built not through actions, but in the private conversations we have with ourselves. In that moment, I prioritised perceived usefulness over intrinsic value. I recognised that I still had work to do in this regard.
From a leadership perspective, it is very important to become aware of the internal conversations that occur when a leader interacts with people. As you go through your various interactions and meetings, do you find yourself sizing up people and making judgements like I did in the privacy of your own mind? This type of thinking is common and although people cannot read our thoughts, our thoughts have a way of compounding over time. What begins as a private judgement can eventually shape public behaviour. Therefore, a leader who habitually minimizes and overlooks people because they do not seem to have a relevant skill or background compared to their peers could find themselves eventually dismissing words and contributions from such people.
A tree grows progressively.
So does disrespect.
When a leader makes it a habit to minimise people in their minds, eventually that could translate into disrespect to the relevant individual. Over time, the way we perceive people influences the questions we ask, the opportunities we offer and whose opinions we instinctively seek. Eventually our internal judgements have a way of shaping our leadership behaviour.
For instance, during a meeting, a COO may instinctively seek the opinion of one team member while overlooking another. Not because the second person has nothing valuable to contribute, but because an earlier judgement has quietly shaped the leader’s expectations. Over time, internal perceptions influence whose voices are heard and whose ideas remain unspoken.
As you go through your busy meetings, sometimes, you will have to make quick decisions. However, it is important to take the time to stay curious. Everyone has something to contribute. Sometimes the greatest insight comes from the person we were least expecting to hear from. Stay curious. Curiosity is one of the ways leaders communicate value.
Character Code™ principle:
Great leaders value people before they value their usefulness.
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About Character Code™
Character Code™ explores the inner qualities that shape exceptional leadership. Through articles, workshops, coaching and keynote presentations, it examines how character influences judgement, trust, culture and the lasting imprint leaders leave on others.
About the Author
Chikodi is a Leadership Development Consultant, Speaker and Executive Coach who helps organisations develop leaders who build trust, strengthen culture and lead with character. She is the creator of Character Code™, a body of work exploring how character shapes judgment, influence and the lasting imprint leaders leave on others. Through articles, workshops and keynote presentations,
Chikodi challenges leaders to look beyond competence alone and cultivate the inner qualities that inspire trust and lasting impact.
Continue the Conversation
Leadership is not simply about the decisions we make—it is also about the character from which those decisions flow.
If this article has prompted you to reflect on your own leadership, I invite you to explore the Character Code™ series, where I explore the principles that shape judgment, influence and the lasting imprint leaders leave on those they lead.
Reflection:
Have you ever decided someone’s value before you truly knew them?