Who are you when you are the only one watching?
It is often said that character is who you are when no one is watching. Upon reflection, I now believe otherwise. Someone is always watching. The audience may have disappeared, but the individual remains. The individual… you are always watching.
Character is who you are when you are the only one watching.
However, when character becomes reduced to a set of rules to be demonstrated purely for the benefit of others, it becomes performative in nature. Character at its core is who you are when you have the gift of solitude.
The gift of solitude is experienced in small moments. In the privacy of one’s own mind, when working late in the office after all staff have gone home, or just before bedtime. Those moments of solitude can reveal thought patterns which can provide insight into the core of an individual’s character.
The wonderful thing about character is that it can change. However, like most things in life, change requires knowledge, intentionality, and consistent action. Both personally and professionally, decisions are often being made, and those decisions influence the character of leaders.
Character is therefore shaped in the process of daily decisions.
A few weeks ago, I received a payment for work I had not provided. I had not received an invoice, and I noticed the payment two dates after the payment was issued. As I reviewed the payment carefully, I pondered on what my next steps should be. For a few minutes, I considered saying nothing. After all, no one had contacted me, and it seemed entirely possible that no one would ever realise the mistake.… but it just did not feel like the right thing to do.
I chose to contact the sender to advise them of the transaction. Just as I suspected, they were completely unaware that this payment had been made to me. Following the notification, they provided the relevant account details, and I transferred the money back to them.
Character is the life blood of every great leader.
As you navigate the challenges of leadership, take time to reflect on who you are when you are the only one watching. When the audience has gone and only your own conscience remains, what does your character say about you?
Within your role, take the time to reflect on this question:
What private decision has taught you the most about your own character?
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About Character Code™
Character Code™ explores the inner qualities that shape exceptional leadership. Through articles, workshops, coaching and keynote presentations, it examines how character influences judgement, trust, culture and the lasting imprint leaders leave on others.
About the Author
Chikodi is a Leadership Development Consultant, Speaker and Executive Coach who helps organisations develop leaders who build trust, strengthen culture and lead with character. She is the creator of Character Code™, a body of work exploring how character shapes judgment, influence and the lasting imprint leaders leave on others. Through articles, workshops and keynote presentations,
Chikodi challenges leaders to look beyond competence alone and cultivate the inner qualities that inspire trust and lasting impact.
Continue the Conversation
Leadership is not simply about the decisions we make—it is also about the character from which those decisions flow.
If this article has prompted you to reflect on your own leadership, I invite you to explore the Character Code™ series, where I explore the principles that shape judgment, influence and the lasting imprint leaders leave on those they lead.
Reflection:
Who are you when you are the only one watching?